The Ghost of Christmas Present from the Muppets Christmas Carol - he likes a Christmas dinner

Lee: “You ready to do the shopping list now?”

Katie: “Yep, okay, so, let’s work it out per person….”

Katie: “Not everyone likes sprouts do they so….let’s get 135 sprouts”

Lee:  “So 80 parsnips and 160 carrots (but that might vary according to size)”

Katie: “ We need chestnut puree and dried apricots too”

 Zoe: “Let’s put this on the blog”

This is a very scientific approach to making Christmas lunch.

And on it went….very amusing, and mmmm my mouth is watering already. 

After overhearing this conversation I replied “Don’t be scientific about the lunch, Scrooge was scientific about these things too and look how that turned out” 

SCROOGE: Well, what else can I be when I live in such a world of fools? What’s Christmas to you but a time for paying bills without money? Merry Christmas! A time for finding yourself a year older, and not an hour richer. If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips’d be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!

Moral of the story: Don’t be so scientific about a Christmas dinner, the leftovers can be eaten at a later date.

Some may point out that it’s merely conjoined, Niall suspects genetic modification whilst others seem to think it is a mutant. Mutants inspire memories of X-Men cartoons and films, and this hasn’t started wearing dodgy clobber, blowing things up with lasers or controlling the minds of staff just yet. Using this deeply flawed logic we can deduce that it has not mutated, it is in fact a paragon within the world of strawberries.

The sheep on the right makes Princess Beatrice look sensible.

Like all things that we cannot explain, we had to study this. Not a particularly rigourous test – Mark plonked it on a piece of paper and measured it with a ruler, but give us a break, we read fiction, not endless amounts of science journals. 6.5cm wide for those interested. Cue an online village fete.

If anyone knows of any poems or short stories about gigantic/possibly mutated/conjoined strawberries then let us know. The closest we’ve got is a title based on Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach.

Roald Dahl’s description of the peach:

“The walls were wet and sticky, and peach juice was dripping from the ceiling. James opened his mouth and caught some of it on his tongue. It tasted delicious.”

Me on the strawberry:

It was massive and it tasted all right.

‘I’m not saying that you’re actually dead if you haven’t read Marilynne Robinson, but I honestly couldn’t say you’re fully alive.’ Brian Appleyard, The Times

Marilynne Robinson, credit Kelly Ruth Winter

This will be a fantastic opportunity to hear Marilynne, who is one of our special guests at the Reading for Wellbeing Conference on 17th May, speak informally about her life and work in a relaxed atmosphere, ask her any questions you may have and enjoy a delicious dinner.

The evening costs only £25, which includes a two course meal and wine.

There are only a very limited number of places available. Please contact Claire Speer if you would like to book a place: clairespeer@thereader.org.uk  / 0151 794 2830

We’ve joined forces with Liverpool’s favourite eatery, The Quarter (on Faulkner Street, Liverpool), to celebrate the launch of The Quarter Library – a new space dedicated to kicking back with a book, and sharing books and food with friends.

To launch its brand new Library area in fitting fashion, we’re hosting a ‘Food for Thought’ event, running shared reading groups with extracts from A Little, Aloud over some light bites and coffee courtesy of The Quarter. And what’s more, it’s free!

We’d like to invite readeronline readers along to this small, relaxing and delicious event but places are limited and there are only a few places left. Please send us an email or give us a call (0151 794 2830) and get your place reserved before someone else beats you to the antipasto…

Lunch Macabre...

“Let there be a spice of terror,” wrote John Dickson Carr, “of dark skies and evil things.”

Well, at today’s Friday Lunch we certainly tried our best – or should that be worst? The jack-o’-lantern grinned its fiery grin; spiders crawled o’er the table; witch’s blood (grapefruit smoothie) was greedily lapped up; the skeleton in our closet was hung up for all to see; we told ghost stories and read creepy poems (including ‘Porphyria’s Lover’ by Robert Browning)…

Good Chris, Bad Chris...

Then there came a hollow knock at the door (which creaked open in a very sinister manner) and a mysterious visitor entered. Dracula? Dr Frankenstein? The Prince of Darkness Himself? Nope – it was Colin Gray from Hereford, with his wife Kathy and son Tom. Colin, far from being an axe-wielding maniac or slavering member of the un-dead, is one of our trained facilitators who has recently started a reading group at the Kindle Centre in Hereford. Well done, Colin – we wish you great success with it.

Thanks to Vicky Clarke and Niall Gibney for the food and decorations!

Having experienced my first ever Friday Lunch at the Reader one week ago today, featuring a veritable cornucopia of edible delights (especially in the muffin department), I must have had food on the brain, as reports of a cake-based tribute to Agatha Christie jumped out at me.

To celebrate the author’s 120^th birthday, Jane Asher has used a passage in Christie’s A Murder is Announced to create her own version of the Delicious Death cake described. An incredible, indeed deadly, concoction of “chocolate and much butter, and sugar and raisins”, its fictional cook declares that “these English people with their cakes that tastes of sand, never, never will they have tasted such a cake”.  Brave readers can judge this for themselves by attempting the recipe: http://www.agathachristie.com/agatha-christie-120-years/delicious-death/

Food plays a big role in literature, with evocative descriptions making a particular impression on childhood minds. Enid Blyton’s picnics of ginger beer, potted meats and milk drunk straight from the cow always sounded slightly strange to my thoroughly modern sensibilities, but, much like the characters themselves, undeniably wholesome and just plain ‘good’. Roald Dahl also provides numerous unforgettable food-related incidents, such as Bruce Bogtrotter’s cake victory over Miss Trunchbull, or the disgusting eating habits of the Twits. Need I even mention Willy Wonka’s factory?

The uses and abuses of food by characters convey much deeper moral messages; the hero Charlie Bucket’s grandparents have to scrimp and save to buy him a single chocolate bar, which he reverently savours. This is in comparison to the other four ticket winners who gorge themselves and come to the inevitable sticky end.

It is no different in adult literature; the confectionery choices made by the customers of Vianne Rocher’s chocolaterie in Joanne Harris’ Chocolat reveal far more about the state of their private lives and true feelings than their words ever do. Similarly, Hilary Mantel’s deployment of culinary detail in Wolf Hall is crucial to her utterly believable recreation of the sixteenth century world.  The characters use food as a tool to be manipulated in the cut-throat environment of courtly politics, as well as a source of pleasure and comfort, while the author uses it to aid the setting and atmosphere.

What are your most memorable food moments in literature? Have you ever attempted to recreate a favourite meal? We’d love to hear from you – maybe your suggestions will inspire a future Friday Lunch here at the Reader!

This exciting event is a rare opportunity to visit the historic gardens of Clarence House, Lancaster House and Marlborough House to help celebrate and promote sustainable living. The twelve day garden party, in the heart of London, will be a vibrant blend of exhibitions, interactive displays, fun activities and live performances from comedians, musicians and speakers.

You’ll have the chance to get involved in debates chaired by Jonathan Dimbleby, Sanjeev Bhaskar and Clive Anderson, or learn how to jazz up your old threads with fashion workshops curated by Dame Vivienne Westwood. If that’s not enough for you, Alan Tichmarsh has been hard at work pulling together a selection of gardening workshops and displays, whilst Kate Humble concentrates on the food! Jools Holland is in charge of music, while Hugh Dennis and Marcus Brigstocke take care of the comedy.

Make sure to visit the Practical Action stand to discover how you can ‘Start’ their energy campaign.

Start will take place around the gardens of Clarence House, London

The garden party runs from 8th – 19th September 2010, 10am – 6pm daily (excluding the last Sunday where opening hours are 12 noon – 6pm)

For further details and to buy tickets to the event visit the Start Garden Party website.

Ella Jolly, Fundraising Research Officer for Practical Action and friend of The Reader Organisation, will be running the Royal Parks Half Marathon in aid of Practical Action on 10/10/10! Please sponor her here: http://www.justgiving.com/george-ella

Another of Borderline’s famous live poetry events hosted jointly with A Good Read. With guests Blake Morrison, Clare Shaw, Tricia Ashworth, Richard MacSween and open mic.

Join us for a relaxed evening of poetry, cabaret style event in the Performance suite, at the ACE Centre, Nelson. Tickets for this evening event (£6 or £5 concessions) should be booked in advance via the ACE centre on 01282 661080 or online.

Our very special guests at this event include two of Burnley’s most famous poetic daughters: Clare Shaw who has used poetry extensively to explore her mental breakdown and Tricia Ashworth who brings to life the imaginative frenzy and topsy-turvy ingenuity of dyslexia. Other guest, Blake Morrison, grew up in Earby, and is well known author of And When Did You Last See Your Father? and The Last Weekend. He writes extensively on literature and cure.

We really hope you can join us!

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Please note this event follows on from a celebration event during the daytime, also at the ACE centre, focusing on the health benefits of reading fiction and poetry.To find out more about this daytime event and the Get Into Reading East Lancashire project, please contact Janet Swan at A Good Read on 01282 414287, and be sure to book early for the evening event!